It’s been awhile, but I feel as though it’s been long enough away from my blog. However, it was intentional- believe it or not. The topic of this blog is to reflect my passions and my determinations (or lack there of) in life, and how I cope with not fulfilling my dreams due to the fact I am my own worst enemy.
Ah, dreams. A beautiful nightmare. A picturesque setting in your slumbers or fantasies. My dreams are simple: I’ve always wanted a simple yet elegant life, filled with laughter, love, and joy. All the aspects the typical all-American boy from Georgia would want out of life. Maybe a nice home on the outskirts of Charleston, or a house in Augusta (Maine that is), or even a nice little cabin in North Carolina. A wife, a couple kids, and a good ol’ dog to tie it all together. That’s the dream for me.
One thing: I have no idea how I will get there. I have absolutely nothing I am passionate about that could suffice as a good source of income, or a real world job that I could actually obtain one day. Unfortunately, there’s only space for one or two Todd McShays in the world, and I highly doubt I’ll be one of them. NASCAR driver? Right. Head coach of the Georgia Bulldogs? Kirby anytime you wanna hand over the keys, let me know. Professional hermit? It’d be nice, but I’m no Boo Radley. The point is: I am undriven. I have no self drive to achieve any of those goals. Just by saying that, I am telling myself that I will never pursue a degree in mass communication/journalism to become an anchor for College Gameday. I’m telling myself that I can’t make a left turn at 200 miles per hour. I’m telling myself that I essentially know nothing about football and that being an actual head coach is nothing like NCAA Football 14 for Xbox 360. And it’s sad. It’s heartbreaking that I haven’t found my true passion in life before I start college, where I’ll be majoring in accounting- a career that pays the bills and gets me through life.
But I’m determined that’s not the whole story. I’m fully aware that what God has planned for me is far greater than I can fathom. In these next four years, I can only imagine what He will show me, teach me, and lead me through in my time in Milledgeville. Granted, if He calls me elsewhere in the world to pursue my passion, then by all means, I’ll do everything I can to pursue it. I’ve been praying recently for Him to guide me through these times to help me understand what I was put here for and who I was made to share it with, and so far, I’ve begun to see where I’m headed and how much of an impact my decisions can have on my future. I have to fight my urges to do nothing, and truly get behind an aspect of life that makes me get up in the morning and gives my earthly life purpose and meaning. As long as my Father is guiding me through it, then I have complete faith in myself and my journey through life.
I’d like to state that if you don’t have a passion towards anything in particular like myself: don’t fret. Pray, walk around in the woods, do a little soul searching. As you find yourself more and more throughout these times, make notes of how far you’ve come and what you can do to avoid going back. Always move forward with your life. It’s nice to look back and revel in your “golden years”, but never forget your ambitions, dreams, and passion.